


smile through your teeth

by quietregulus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Consensual Infidelity, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, HP: EWE, Healer Draco Malfoy, M/M, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietregulus/pseuds/quietregulus
Summary: Astoria Greengrass and Draco Malfoy had been married for a few years before she'd suddenly gotten pregnant. Never mind Astoria's got a whole other set of issues, including her crush on some other (female) Healer and the fact that her husband's mooning over Harry Potter. Oh, and she's a bit of a mess.





	smile through your teeth

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea a year and a half ago and I just wanted to be done and I finally am! I (very) originally wanted more Hermione (as in switching between Hermione and Astoria) but it was way too much work and I'm lazy and mentally ill lol. I kept the "prologue" with Hermione, however, because it was the true beginning of the fic and it'd hurt too much to part with it.
> 
> Keep in mind that 98% of the fic is in the (3rd) POV of Astoria. While Harry/Draco is an important part of the fic, it focuses MUCH more on Astoria and her own struggles/love. Also I've never been pregnant and don't really know much about it, so please bear with me. 
> 
> The original female character is also present in another one of my fics, "Bloodstream." Not the same universe, obviously, but it's easier to just stick to an OC I've already created.
> 
> WARNING for eating disorders/disordered eating. I'm using my own past experiences and some secondhand experiences as well. Please stay safe. 
> 
> Comments/critique is greatly appreciated ❤ 
> 
> HP isn't mine.
> 
> EDIT JULY 2018: Fixed it up quite a bit! There was lots wrong lol.

**PROLOGUE**

**APRIL 2005**

“Hermione,” Harry mumbled, “Er, I have to tell you something.”

Hermione looked up, her fork halfway to her mouth. When she saw how serious he was being, she put it down, ready to give him her full attention.

“What is it?”

“I don't,” Harry tried to say. He stopped and worried his bottom lip. “Er, well. I dunno. It's-”

“Harry,” she cut in gently. “What’s wrong?”

“I'm trying!” he said, his voice rising slightly. He looked around nervously and visibly calmed himself. “Right. Well. I think I fancy someone.”

“Ooh,” Hermione said as possibilities began running through her mind. “Who is it?”

“That's the thing,” Harry said nervously.

He looked around again, and it was clear to Hermione that Harry didn't want anyone to overhear them. Of course, it was unlikely that anyone would - or anyone who would care, anyway, as the two were at the quaint Muggle sandwich shop they usually lunched at.

“It's someone bad.”

“Bad?” Hermione asked, frowning. “What, are they a murderer?”

“No, not bad like that,” Harry said quickly. “Christ, Hermione. I mean, it's bad that I fancy him. I shouldn't.”

 _Him_. Ok, so it was a bloke. That’s progress.

“Why not?”

“Because,” Harry tried to explain.

Sadly, he couldn't seem to get any further than that. He groaned instead and ran a hand through his hair. Hermione looked worriedly at him, and resisted the urge to shake it out of him.

“Harry.”

“It's bad because,” he tried again. “It's bad.”

Hermione went through possible reasons as to why it could be ‘bad.’

“Is he taken?” she asked lowly.

Harry nodded grievously.

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said, frowning at him.

“I know,” he moaned. He put his head in his hands. “I know!”

They sat in silence for a moment, processing what had just been said. Their waitress came over to refill their waters. When she left, Hermione leaned in closer, her elbows on the tall wooden table.

“But who is it? Do I know him?”

Harry lifted his head and nodded.

Names of their mutual acquaintances began to settle in her mind, though one came to rest at the forefront of it.

“Well,” Hermione paused. She then said gravely, “I think I know who it is.”

“Who d’you think it is?” Harry asked quickly. When she didn't reply, he continued anxiously, his green eyes bright. “Please. Just say it. Say it so I don't have to.”

“Is it Draco?”

She watched Harry deflate and then tense not two seconds later.

“How'd you know?” he asked, mortified. “It's him, but how'd you know?”

Hermione placed a gentle hand on his arm. He was wearing the soft, dark red jumper that he liked so much.

“Don't worry,” she said soothingly. “I don't think anyone else knows. I just do.”

“Of course,” he nodded. “Right. Well. You can't tell Ron.”

At Hermione’s reproachful look, he pouted slightly. Hermione scowled and removed her hand.

“You can't,” Harry implored. He took her hands in his own. “Hermione, I'm sorry, but he'd overreact, and I'm already going mad as it is. He'd just make me feel even worse about it.”

Hermione just stared at Harry. She couldn't believe him, asking her to lie to her husband. Well, no, she understood. But she didn't like it. He must have seen her wavering, because he continued.

“I'll tell him,” he said sincerely. “Soon. Just not yet."

She sighed and squeezed Harry’s hands before taking hers back. Hermione picked her fork up and stabbed at a cherry tomato.

“Fine. But you've got to tell him as soon as you feel able to,” she said, waving the tomato threateningly at Harry, who nodded, obviously relieved. “He'll be furious if he finds out you kept this from him for a long time.”

“I know,” Harry sighed. “But right now, I can hardly admit it to myself.”

She frowned, suddenly feeling very bad for Harry. She knew very well that it was hard fancying someone who was taken. Though of course, her situation hadn’t even been close to as severe as Harry’s was. For one, Ron wasn’t married, and two, they were both very young when he’d been dating Lavender. God, that really _was_ ages ago.

She brought herself back to present day and watched Harry chew his sandwich morosely. She could tell he was struggling, and she could guess what he was feeling at the moment.

“Don’t be mad at yourself, Harry,” she said softly. “You can’t help who you fancy. You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Harry sipped his water. Hermione sighed.

* * *

  **MAY 2005**

Astoria knocked lightly on the opened door, causing her overworked husband to jump slightly and look up.

“Oh, Astoria,” Draco said, clearly distracted. He put his quill into his inkpot and straightened in his chair. “Come in.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” she said, entering the office. She held up a paper bag for him to see. “I've brought you lunch.”

Draco managed a smile. The bags underneath his eyes were as present as ever, and she could have sworn his face looked even thinner than it did a month ago. Astoria tried not to be jealous - that was an Unhealthy Thought.

“Thank you, darling.”

He stood and kissed her on the cheek. Astoria smiled and pushed the bag into his hands. Draco glanced down at it, and then studied Astoria, whose arms were crossed.

“You’re welcome,” she said flatly.

Draco made a face – sort of guilty, sort of annoyed – as he took in her body language.

“Astoria-” he said in a voice that told her he already knew what was coming.

“You’re working too much again,” she cut in sharply. “You really ought to take more breaks.”

“The patients-”

“Will be just fine without you for a half-hour each day,” Astoria interrupted once more. They've had this argument more times than she could count. “And what about the rest of the Healers in the department? You make it sound like they're incompetent.”

Draco sighed, his brows furrowing together. He turned away to place his lunch on his desk.

“They're extremely competent,” he said quietly. “I just worry.”

“That's my point,” Astoria said, lowering her arms. “You worry too much. The entire hospital won't collapse if you take some time for yourself.”

“I'm fine, Astoria,” Draco mumbled. “You're the one who worries too much.”

Astoria bristled. She made herself relax. Inhale. Exhale.

“Draco,” she tried to say in a soft tone. She thought she succeeded. “You can't care for anyone if you don't take care of yourself first.” He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it. “I'll see you at home.”

Astoria left the office, feeling rather worse than she had when she first came in.

Except, perhaps, that didn't have everything to do with the conversation. She had barely gotten down two corridors before bracing herself against the wall, one hand pressed gently to her stomach. She suddenly felt very nauseous and tried to remember what she had for breakfast this morning – a grapefruit and her usual morning tea (no milk, one sugar).

Astoria looked down at her stomach, brows furrowed, her blonde hair falling into her face.

She had had plenty of water throughout the day. No lunch (yet?). There was no reason she should be feeling so faint. She had no more time to dwell on it, however, because her stomach flipped violently at that point.

Astoria hurried to the loo, flung open the door, and barely made it into the closest stall before throwing up into the toilet.

A minute later, she flushed, gasping as tears stung her eyes. She made her way to the sink, running her tongue over her teeth. She spat, and watched as bits of grapefruit swirled down the drain.

“Ugh,” she said, and turned on the tap.

She rinsed her mouth out several times before turning it off again. She looked up at her reflection bitterly. She stared into her red-tinged eyes and at her face, remembering how it looked when it would puff up for months at a time.

Astoria ripped her gaze away from her reflection; it wasn’t doing her any good.

She left the bathroom a little while later, determined to find out why she had just thrown up her breakfast when she hadn't done so in a year.

* * *

One benefit to being married to a Healer-in-charge at St. Mungo's was that it was incredibly easy to get seen by a Healer on short notice.

One downside was that he learned about it very quickly and fussed like an overbearing parent.

"I'm fine, Draco," Astoria tried to say. "Go back to the patients who actually need you."

"You're not fine," Draco said, his forehead pinched as he closed his eyes for a moment. "You’ve – you…” He paused, and Astoria knew what he was stopping himself from saying. She could see the hesitation in his eyes, and she felt cold, internally begging him not to say it. “You were right. I need to relinquish some of my duties to my Healers."

"I didn't mean for you to ignore all your responsibilities just because I felt a bit woozy!" Astoria argued, crossing her arms. She couldn't look very menacing whilst perched on a sickbed, but she had to try. Draco was being ridiculous. "This isn't even your department!"

"You're my wife, Astoria," Draco said firmly, stepping closer. "You come first. I can't just ignore the fact that you're seeing a Healer a floor below me."

"I'm not a child, Draco," Astoria rolled her eyes. "You can go back to work. I'm sure it's nothing."

"If you're sure it's nothing, then why are you getting checked by a Healer?"

Astoria shifted guiltily. She didn't really have an answer, because she _didn't_ really believe it was nothing. But it certainly wasn't something important enough to pull Draco out of his work.

Draco shot her a glare – _see?_ – when she failed to answer, knowing he'd won. His lime green robes (really truly hideous, she could never get used to them) swished as he paced around the room. He had a look of frustration on his thin face, and twice she caught him glancing at her like he wanted to continue saying what he had started to say earlier.

She thought he was tactful enough not to, but better safe than sorry. Astoria studied her hands and determinedly avoided his gaze. She wondered when the Healer would be back.

As if on cue, there was a sharp knock at the door a second before it opened. The same middle-aged Healer who had looked over her earlier came in briskly, his wand sticking out of his pocket. Astoria had seen him at staff parties before - what was his name? His eyes flashed over to Draco, who had finally stopped pacing. The Healer nodded slightly before turning to Astoria.

“Good news, Mrs. Greengrass," he said without preamble. "You don't have a magical bug or illness."

She smirked at Draco, who dismissed this.

"Then what's the bad news?" Draco asked him.

 

"To be truthful, Healer Malfoy, I can't correctly classify this news as good or bad," the Healer said, his eyes shifting between both of them, "But I assume it is news nevertheless. It appears as if you are pregnant, Mrs. Greengrass. Five weeks, to be exact."

Astoria's eyes widened, and she glanced over at Draco, whose mouth had drooped open in an extremely non-Malfoy way.

"Oh," Astoria said. She looked back at the Healer, who nodded. "Oh."

She looked down at herself. _Pregnant?_ Her mind raced.

"I'll take my leave," the Healer said when neither of them had spoken for a few long moments. "Go up to the front desk when you're ready, and you can discuss further steps with the Mediwitch there."

Astoria nodded, only half-aware of what he was saying.

“Thank you,” she managed to say before he slipped out.

When she heard the door click shut, she lifted her head to look at Draco. He was even paler than usual.

"Well. I mean. Well," Draco was saying, his grey eyes drifting from her own to her stomach. "It isn't that much of a surprise. Sort of. I mean, we've been trying. Sometimes."

"For over half a year!" Astoria said, finally able to use her words again. "Merlin, Draco, I was starting to wonder if it would ever happen."

"Well, it did," Draco replied, a slight smile on his face. He walked forward, his hands clasping her own. He smiled, then - a real, toothy smile – the one that few had the privilege to see. "Finally. Astoria, we've done it. We can - it's happening."

"Yes," Astoria said in awe. She stared down at her stomach again. "It's happening."

* * *

Draco came home as Astoria was waking from her accidental nap. She sat herself up on the couch, her wool blanket falling from her torso into her lap. The sitting room was dark and cold.

“Astoria?” she heard him call.

“In here,” she responded croakily. Her throat was dry – she cleared it.

Astoria heard him walk over to the sitting room. Draco stood in the doorway, the light from the corridor bouncing off his hair. He approached her slowly, his expression soft. Astoria looked down at the blanket. She felt silly. Weak. He smoothed down her hair with careful fingers.

“Are you alright?” he asked gently.

“Yes, I just fell asleep,” she answered. She curled in her legs and rearranged the blanket over them. “Sit down.”

He did so. He was still in his work robes, and he looked exhausted. He’d been busy all day, working to help people _not die_ , and what had she done? Had a panic attack and fallen asleep.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

Draco looked unconvinced. Astoria knew what was coming – he wasn’t going to put it off any longer.

“Astoria, how are you feeling?” he asked again, his eyes fixed on her.

She fidgeted under his intense gaze, and she looked down at her hands. Astoria figured she couldn’t put it off any longer either. She had to be able to tell her husband things, didn't she?

“I’m scared,” she admitted. She let out a shaky breath. “I mean, I’m relieved that I’m finally pregnant, of course. We’ve been trying for so long, and now that it’s happening, we’re one step closer to, well, moving on with our lives. And I know our parents will be positively thrilled – but it’s...”

Her grip on the blanket tightened, her hands trembling slightly. Draco took them in his own, stopping the shaking. She sighed and finally met Draco’s gaze.

“But I’m scared,” she continued. “Even though it’s been a year, I don’t feel fixed. I don’t even think it’s possible…being fixed, I mean. Even getting sick this morning, that was – Draco, I hated it. But I loved it. I hated that I loved it. Merlin, I sound mental.”

“No, you don’t,” Draco said gently.

“I do,” she insisted. She hated how her voice wavered. “I threw up this morning, and I loved it. I felt weak and sick, but it felt so _good_. It all just came back to me, how it feels, how it  _makes_ me feel, and it’s frightened me.”

Astoria took her hands from Draco’s gentle grasp and covered her face.

“I’m so selfish, Draco. I have our baby in me and all I can think about is how I love feeling empty again. How I want to starve again. But I’m going to have to eat and keep it _in_ because it’s not just me, I have to care about someone else now and I’m going to gain so much weight but I _can’t_ and listen to me, I can’t be a mother.”

She felt tears well up in her eyes and let out a choked sob. She hid her face in her hands, her palms wet with tears and sweat. As she tried and failed to stop from sobbing, Draco moved to embrace her, wrapping his arms around her shaking body. Astoria buried her face in Draco’s shoulder. He was still in those awful, lime green robes and the scent of antiseptic and coconuts filled her nose – it should have been unpleasant, but she’d grown to like it over the years. She’d grown to like many things about Draco over the years.

She sobbed, and Draco patiently stroked her back. After a few minutes, Astoria dried her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her face still pressed against Draco. She didn’t want him to see her face all puffy and red; she’d embarrassed herself enough for one day. “Merlin, Draco, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Draco said softly, and Astoria wondered how someone could be so sweet (and be such a good liar). “It’s completely natural for you to be scared about this. Lots of mothers can get overwhelmed and nervous about their babies.”

“But not all mothers are mental,” she said, her croaky voice barely audible even in the quiet of the room.

“Don’t,” Draco said sharply.

“What? I am. Completely mad,” Astoria said, her voice rising. She pulled herself away from Draco and frowned at the wet spot she had left on Draco’s robes. She focused on it instead of Draco’s face. “Sane people don’t make themselves throw up or stop eating. My brain’s all broken.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself that way. You’re not broken.”

“I drooled all over your robes,” Astoria said.

“Astoria,” Draco said, and his firm hands were on her face. He tilted her head up gently. “Look at me.”

“No, I look dreadful.”

“Astoria,” Draco repeated, his voice sterner.

She looked at him. His eyes were stormy, his eyebrows drawn together, his forehead pinched. He seemed so sad, and it made her hate herself even more.

“It’s not you. It’s your illness,” he said firmly, and Astoria bit her tongue to keep from interrupting. _I am my illness,_ she wanted to say. “And recovery for this certain illness is a lifelong thing. But Astoria, you are _strong_ and kind and loving and I know you’re going to be a wonderful mother.”

Astoria shook her head; she felt her eyes filling with tears again. She never did well with these sort of compliments – sincere and having to do with something other than her looks (although she never really understood those much either).

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy – you know it isn’t,” Draco went on, “But it’s doable. And I’m here to help whenever you need me. Astoria, I have complete faith in you. I promise.”

“You’re too good for me,” Astoria mumbled, and moved into his open arms once more.

She pressed her cheek against his chest, which was rising and falling faster than usual. He wrapped his arms around her (she tried not to think about how he could probably feel all the fat on her body) and began rubbing her back.

Draco gave a light laugh. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. I guess it’s a good thing we’re both the furthest thing from straight,” Astoria said, a smile playing at her lips for the first time in hours.

Draco smiled slightly and kissed the top of her head.

**JUNE 2005**

Astoria had to admit; it was strange having Harry Potter asking about her health.

Oh, she knew he was a volunteer at St. Mungo’s – she’d seen him around while visiting Draco, and she'd certainly heard Draco ranting about it, but she’d never been his patient before.

“Mrs. Greengrass?”

Astoria looked up into the bright green eyes of the Savior, who was presently standing before her, clipboard and quill in his hands and a hesitant look on his face.

“Oh, sorry. What was the question?”

“How has the morning sickness been?” Potter asked.

She wished he didn’t look so nervous. It’d help with her own anxiety.

“Oh, well,” Astoria said, her eyes moving from one place to the next. “Same as usual. Rather horrible.”

Potter grimaced and scribbled something on his clipboard. He was about to say something else when the door opened and Draco burst through it.

“So sorry I’m late,” Draco said, his grey eyes on Astoria, slightly panicked. “One of my Healers made a grievous error and…”

His eyes slid towards Potter, who stared back in turn. Draco’s staring was more due to shock, while Potter’s, well…it was intriguing.

Astoria cleared her throat, deciding to help them both out.

“It’s alright, darling. You’ve barely missed anything.”

Draco recovered first.

“Oh. Good. Well,” he said hesitantly. He went to stand next to where she was sitting, atop the patient’s bed. “Sorry for the intrusion…”

Potter blinked. “Er, no problem, Healer Malfoy. Right, so, as I was saying,” Potter continued, somehow even more nervous than before, “How often do you feel nauseous?”

Draco took hold of her hand.

“A few times a day.”

Potter scribbled it down on his clipboard. “And how often do you vomit?”

A squeeze.

“Perhaps every other day? But sometimes it’s every day.”

Potter nodded, writing that down too. He then looked up, his eyes struggling to stay on Astoria’s own.

“Great, thank you. I’ll let Healer Woodbury know you’re ready. He’ll be in shortly.”

Astoria nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Potter.”

“Harry’s fine,” he said before giving a short nod and exiting the room.

“Well,” Draco said.

Astoria rolled her eyes.

“For Merlin’s sake, Draco, you’re a department head here. You _knew_ Potter was volunteering here.”

“Well, yes, but,” Draco nearly stammered – which he never did. “But, I’d never had to be near him for so long. I was, ah, caught unawares.”

“I wish you two would grow up. We aren’t in Hogwarts anymore.”

Draco glared at her. “I know, darling. I just don’t know why Potter had to volunteer _here_ of all places.”

“Well now you’re just complaining about someone volunteering in a hospital,” Astoria scoffed.

Draco had the sense to look slightly ashamed.

“You’re right,” he said, his grey eyes shifting away. He sighed. “I'm acting like a child and I should be grateful to all of our volunteers here, even if they _do_ happen to be arrogant, self-important prats –“

Astoria gripped Draco’s arm tightly, her fingernails digging into his flesh and interrupting him.

He looked at her wearily but didn’t say anything, as Healer Woodbury took this moment to knock and enter the room.

* * *

 Astoria was visiting St. Mungo’s to drop off lunch for Draco when she bumped into Harry Potter.

“Oh, erm, Mrs. Greengrass,” he said, pushing his glasses up nervously.

It was strange – he still appeared rather boyish (perhaps due to his mannerisms), though there was a certain _ruggedness_ about him that was undeniable. In his eyes, maybe? He would certainly fit the bill for being ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ – if one was interested in the type.

Astoria smiled. “Mr. Potter.”

“How’s the baby?” Potter asked, gesturing awkwardly to her stomach.

She raised her eyebrow a tiny fraction before answering, “Still very young.”

“Er, right. Um…”

His green eyes drifted to the little bag she was carrying in her left hand. They seemed to linger on something – perhaps the scarring on her fingers?

“I’ve brought lunch for Draco,” she said, clearing her throat because she didn’t want him staring any longer.

Potter’s eyes snapped back up to Astoria’s face; he seemed mildly embarrassed.

“Oh – that’s nice,” he said.

Merlin, was it always this painful to have a conversation with him? She had expected better from him.

“Well, I’ve better get this to him,” Astoria said, pushing through yet another bump in the conversation.

“Right,” Potter said. “Erm, it was good to see you.”

“You as well, Mr. Potter.”

When Astoria got to Draco’s office, she knocked and let herself in. Draco glanced up and offered a quick nod before turning his attention back to his papers.

“Lunch for you,” she said. “Potter’s a real character, isn’t he? He can’t keep a conversation to save his life.”

Draco gave a little start and looked up, eyebrows furrowed.

“Excuse me?”

“Potter. Harry Potter,” Astoria said, “You only had the _biggest_ crush on him when we were at school.”

Draco glared daggers at Astoria as he scrambled to pick up his wand. He shut the door nonverbally and motioned for Astoria to sit down. She did so.

“Merlin, I never should have told you that,” he groaned. He then frowned sternly at her. “You can’t just go blabbing about where anyone could hear you.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Draco, no one’s going to overhear.” Astoria rolled her eyes. “And what does it matter? It was in the past, it’s not like you still- “

But seeing the look on Draco’s face, it was abundantly clear that he did.

Astoria gasped. “No!” When he didn’t say anything, she gave a short laugh. “Merlin, Draco, I thought you’d gotten over him ages ago.”

“I _did_ ,” Draco insisted, but failed to convince her.

“Oh, Draco,” she tutted, a smirk on her face as she pinched his cheek. “My silly boy.”

He swatted her hand away, his cheeks tinged pink.

“Stop it,” he hissed. It was adorable.

“How did I _just_ find out about this?” she asked, fighting to stop her wide smile. She failed miserably. “I genuinely thought you still just hated him. I can’t believe you had me fooled for that long.”

“I never hated him,” Draco corrected. “But the ruse is up, I suppose. Just…don’t say anything, Astoria.”

She smirked.

**JULY 2005**

Astoria caressed Draco’s cheek. With smooth, flawless skin that was defined by his near-perfect bone structure, he truly was beautiful. It couldn’t be denied.

“Do I look alright?” he asked, anxiety in his eyes.

She drew her hand away and studied his carefully combed hair and his formal robes, which made him look even sharper than usual. The only thing that was off was how tense he was.

“Yes, darling,” Astoria smiled. “All you have to do is relax.”

“Easier said than done,” Draco muttered.

“It’ll be _fine_ ,” Astoria assured him. “They’ll be relieved. Mine were.”

“Yes, until we tell them what we plan to do.”

“They’ve known it for four years, Draco,” she retorted. “It won’t exactly be a surprise.”

“My parents like to think we’ve grown out of that ‘fantastical mindset,’” Draco scoffed.

“Well, we’ll prove them wrong, won’t we?”

Draco rolled his eyes and held out the Floo powder.

“You're putting much too much faith in my father, but after you, _darling_.”

She gave him two fingers before taking some.

* * *

Dinner with the Malfoys wasn't going too badly, considering their previous experiences. They were in the middle of the main course when Draco squeezed her hand with a certain intensity.

Astoria cleared her throat. “Lucius, Narcissa – Draco and I have something to tell you.”

Lucius narrowed his eyes and said nothing; Narcissa lifted her chin and said, “Yes, dear?”

Astoria glanced over at Draco, who nodded sharply.

“I’m pregnant,” Astoria announced calmly.

Lucius’s expression remained frozen in a look of tired distaste, but Narcissa’s eyes lit up for the first time in ages.

“Oh,” she said, raising a hand to cover her mouth. She looked over to Draco as if to have this news confirmed, and when he smiled slightly and nodded, she again exclaimed, “Oh! Draco, that’s wonderful. Congratulations, dear.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Draco said quietly.

Astoria kept her brave face on as they all looked to Lucius, who was now fuming.

“Don’t you realize, Narcissa,” he growled, his voice low, “That this doesn’t mean anything? Yes,  _she'_ _s_ pregnant, but as soon as the child is out she’s going to run off! Our only hope to redeem our family name will be gone.”

His teeth were bared now, his eyes rimmed red as he glared at Astoria, nearly obscured by the unwashed hair in his face. Astoria bristled, but Draco tightened his grip on her hand.

“Father,” Draco responded calmly, “ _she_ is my wife and the mother of your future grandchild. I ask that you show her some respect.”

“Some wife,” Lucius snarled. “She’s not a proper one, and _you’re_ not a proper husband.”

“Lucius,” Narcissa hissed to no avail.

“We might have been if we’d been given the freedom to choose our partners,” Draco retaliated, his volume rising and tone hardening. “If you weren’t so hellbent on getting an heir we might have realized our full potential.”

“There you go, only thinking about yourself again. Does your family mean nothing to you? Think of what you could do for us if you’d only do your duty.”

“We did this for _you._ We married for you. We’re having a _child_ for you. But I’m afraid having an heir isn’t going to make us respected, Father,” Draco sneered. “Honestly, I don’t think we ever will be again – I doubt we’ll ever be treated with _any_ respect. And I'm certain you know that too, somewhere deep down. I’m doing my part to pay reparations as best I can. But what are _you_ doing??”

Lucius’ face went an ugly shade of grey then, his eyes bulging out in anger.

“You arrogant boy,” Lucius said, his voice icy. “Get out of my house.”

“Gladly,” Draco snapped.

He stood and turned to Astoria, who hastened to stand up as well.

“Thank you for having us over,” Draco said neutrally. “It was good to see you, Mother.”

“Goodbye,” Astoria said before hurrying to follow Draco to the fireplace.

“Draco –“ said Narcissa, but Draco didn’t stop – just hesitated briefly, his face screwed up in pain.

They disappeared into the Floo, Draco going first. When Astoria reemerged in their flat, she hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest.

“It’s not your fault,” he replied, his voice tired.

“I’m still sorry.”

He stroked her hair.

* * *

She brushed the escaped strands of her hair behind her ear impatiently, her face screwed up in concentration. She nibbled her bottom lip when she worked, and sometimes the end of her quill, although Astoria knew she was trying to break that habit. When she looked up from her paperwork and caught Astoria staring, a large smile broke out on her face.

“Astoria!”

Bethia Burke – more commonly known as Betty – was a trainee Healer at St. Mungo’s under Draco’s department, and the object of Astoria’s affections.

“Hi, Betty,” Astoria greeted. She walked closer to the counter, where Betty was standing on the opposite side. “Hard at work?”

She nodded and gave a little sigh. “There’s always work to do. Healer Malfoy’s relentless.”

“I’ll have a word with him,” Astoria smiled, and when Betty blanched, she said, “I’m only joking, Betty.”

“Oh, of course,” she blushed. “How are you two doing, by the way?”

“Very well, thank you,” Astoria said. She thought for a second, then added, “I’m pregnant.”

She expected a squeal, or a gasp at the very least, but neither came. Instead, Betty looked away sheepishly.

“I know,” she said apologetically. “News travels fast here…I’m sorry.”

Astoria rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “I’m not too surprised, I suppose. But who told you?”

“Umm…” Betty bit her lip. “I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Please,” Astoria implored, “I won’t get mad.”

Betty continued to nibble her lip instead of answering Astoria, but then her eye caught on something over Astoria’s shoulder. She hesitated before gesturing nervously with her head.

Astoria turned to look – Harry Potter. He was standing and talking to…Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, it must’ve been.

“He just mentioned it,” Betty said hurriedly. “It slipped out. It’s not like he goes around talking about patients.”

“Yes, I figured,” Astoria said. She smiled kindly at Betty, who still seemed worried. “It’s alright, Betty.”

She breathed a sigh of relief and grinned. Astoria’s heart fluttered.

“Ok.”

**AUGUST 2005**

Merlin, she was so big.

It was another of those “Stare-at-Yourself-in-Mirror-Until-You-Want-to-Die” sessions.

Her eyes burned holes into the reflection of her thighs, arms, calves, and mostly, her stomach. Yes, she understood that she was literally growing life but still, did that mean she had to balloon so horribly?  She followed the curve of her stomach, frowning at the unsightly bump. It left a sour taste in her mouth and summoned a repetitive chant into her mind – _fat fat fat fat fat_.

She felt tears well up in her eyes as anger and frustration and disgust and hopelessness bubbled up inside of her, hot and sickening – _how could this happen how could you let this happen you fat bitch you’re disgusting –_

Astoria strangled the shout that was building in her throat and turned away, her breaths ragged and panicked. She tried to slow them, holding her breaths and counting them out. 

It didn’t work, but then again, it never did.

She settled for breaking the mirror instead; a shaky _Reducto_ was all she needed to hear the satisfying crack.

Feeling a little calmer, she put her robes back on over her undergarments and swept her hair up away from her face, avoiding her broken reflection. She’d fix the mirror later.

* * *

“Astoria,” Draco said.

They were lying in bed, the lights dimmed. She was reading _A Modern Witch’s Guide to Pregnancy_  while Draco lay on his back, resting his eyes. She looked over at him; they were open now.

“Yes?”

“I saw the mirror today.”

Astoria froze and felt cold wash over her – she’d forgotten to fix it after her minor meltdown. How could she had been so foolish? She sat up, looking in the direction of the mirror, and saw that it was already repaired.

“I’ve already fixed it.”

“I see that,” she said quietly. She looked down at her lap, down at her hands and the book. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Astoria,” Draco said, his voice firm but kind. “I just hope you know that I’m always here for you. If you need someone to talk to or to have listen to you…I’m here.”

“I know, Draco.”

“Why didn’t you come see me?”

“It’s just the same garbage over and over again,” she said, her voice finally betraying how fragile she currently felt. She chanced a look over at Draco; he was propped up on his side, watching her intently. “I’m fat. I’m disgusting. I loathe myself. What else is there to say?”

“Astoria,” Draco said, his voice barely over a whisper. “Come here.”

She obeyed, crawling over to nestle herself against Draco’s warm body, her back to him, and he began stroking her hair.

“You’re not disgusting, Astoria. You’re beautiful,” he said softly. “Inside and out. Truly. I _know_ disgusting, and it’s not you.”

“I appreciate it, but it’s not true.”

“Why would I lie to you?”

“To spare my feelings.”

“You know I’m not one to spare one’s feelings.”

“I’m your wife, though. That’s got to count for something.”

“I’m rude to everyone. It’s my trademark.”

Despite herself, Astoria smiled. She tugged Draco’s arm around her, and he held her like that for the rest of the night.

* * *

A week later, Astoria found herself sobbing in the toilet on the third floor of St. Mungo’s.

Why she was crying was ridiculous, as it always was, but she cried all the same.

She didn’t even know why she had come to St. Mungo’s – probably because she didn’t want to be stuck inside the house like she had been all week. But she didn’t want to admit that to anyone, and especially not to Draco. He had to think she was stronger, _better_. Less pathetic.

Right, as if that could ever happen. She let out a choked sob.

“Hello?” came a clear voice, one Astoria could recognize anywhere.

Astoria quickly wiped her face and breathed deeply before opening the stall door and meeting Betty's concerned eyes.

“Hi, Betty,” she said, her voice still quivering slightly.

Betty's face fell immediately; she stepped closer.

“Are you ok?” she asked softly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Astoria said, and even _she_ had to admit that it was a weak attempt at a lie.

“Astoria,” Betty said gently, “What is it?”

“I just,” Astoria took a deep breath and willed the tears not to come, “Haven’t thrown up in a while.”

Betty cocked her head. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“You’d think it was, wouldn’t you?” Astoria mumbled.

Although she’d never said it outright, Astoria had guessed that Betty knew about her eating disorder. Even if she wasn’t a Trainee Healer, Astoria believed that it was rather obvious that _something_ was wrong. They’d known each other since Betty began training at St. Mungo’s one year ago and had only grown steadily closer. So when Betty bowed her head, Astoria understood.

Betty came closer, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Astoria,” she began, those blue-green eyes staring steadily into her own, “I can’t say I understand what you’re going through, but I can say that you’re not alone and that I’m always here for you. You can tell me anything, really, and if you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. I’ll still be here. Anything you need…I’m here.”

Astoria’s eyes filled with tears (Merlin, she was such a crier) and she managed an “Oh, Betty” before she rushed to hug the other woman.

Betty wrapped her arms around Astoria immediately and Astoria began crying in earnest. Partly because she was miserable, and partly because she suddenly understood what she’d been missing for so long, and what she had ached for so desperately. Betty’s sweet scent, her soothing voice, gentle hands and long, soft hair. Being held by Betty so tightly, so fiercely…being able to burrow her face in the crook of her neck…it was like getting hit by a brick.  

She cried harder, and Betty held her tighter.  

“I’m sorry,” Astoria managed, embarrassment creeping up through the shock.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Betty said quietly.

Astoria lifted her head, her vision of Betty blurry through her tears. She wiped her eyes, scared of what she looked like, and stared at Betty, who looked back at her unwaveringly. And then, with a trembling hand, Betty tucked a fallen strand of hair behind Astoria’s ear. Her hand lingered there, Astoria almost feeling it on her cheeks.

Merlin, she was so beautiful. All wide eyes and flawless skin, sharp cheekbones that came with being a Pureblood. Astoria’s eyes fell to Betty’s perfect lips, slightly parted. When she met Betty’s eyes once more, she saw that their pupils were dilated. And then, before she could stop herself, Astoria kissed Betty.

Betty kissed back, and Astoria melted.

She hadn’t kissed anyone in so long and the fact that it was Betty -  _she was kissing Betty -_ made it all the better. Her lips were soft and sweet and Betty gave a little moan and Astoria could’ve cried from happiness. She nudged Betty’s lips open and they kissed deeper, open-mouthed and with growing urgency. Betty’s hand was caressing Astoria’s cheek now, and her own hands had found Betty’s waist. Astoria felt like she was floating, and when they suddenly parted, she plummeted back down to earth.

“Oh God,” Betty said faintly, her hand covering her mouth and eyes nearly circular. “I’m – I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Astoria breathed, unsure of what was happening, a cool dread filling her stomach. “No, why? Why would you have to be?”

“You’re _married_ ,” Betty whispered. “You’re _pregnant_ , for Merlin’s sake. Healer Malfoy – “

Astoria nearly laughed with relief. Betty looked horrified.

“We’re not really,” Astoria explained hurriedly. She didn’t quite like the way Betty was staring at her. “I mean we are, legally, but it’s only to get our parents off our backs. It’s just an – an arrangement. I mean, we’re both gay.”

Betty blinked. “Are you having me on?”

“No, of course not,” Astoria said, and took Betty’s hands in her own. She still looked skeptical. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise. You can ask Draco. He’ll tell you, he’s completely bent.”

“I’d rather not ask my boss if he’s bent,” Betty said faintly. She hesitated, worrying her bottom lip as she thought. “Are you sure?”

“Am I – of course I am.” Astoria did laugh this time – out of relief, and because of how absurd this situation was.

“But you’re pregnant.”

“The Malfoys want an heir,” Astoria rolled her eyes. “It’s ridiculous, but Draco and I figured we could stay together long enough to have a child to make our families happy. We don’t tell many people of the real situation, you know, to keep up appearances but…that’s essentially it.”

“I hate being Pureblood sometimes,” Betty muttered.

“You’re telling me.”

“So,” she frowned. “It’s alright? This?”

Astoria blushed and nodded. “Yes. As long as it’s fine with you.”

“Yes,” Betty smiled prettily. “It’s better than fine.”

* * *

When Draco came home later that day, Astoria told him the news. She hadn’t been involved with anyone since marrying Draco (and neither had he), so she wasn’t exactly sure of how he would take it. She needn’t have worried, however, because he took it with grace, saying he was glad for her.

She felt guilty all the same.

**SEPTEMBER 2005**

September found Astoria and Betty becoming closer. They wanted to keep their relationship(?) lowkey as they weren’t exactly keen on anyone catching on. However, with the media otherwise preoccupied – _War Heroes Weasley and Granger Expecting First Child_ – Astoria and Betty felt safe going out to lunch every so often. After all, isn’t that what friends did?

Astoria was in love. Yes, it was happening very fast, and yes, there was the slight age difference, and _yes_ , she was married and expecting, but Astoria was in love. How could she not be? Betty was smart and clever and sweet and shy. And beautiful, _so_ beautiful. Astoria yearned to touch her soft, smooth skin, to play with that long, dark hair whenever she pleased. But for now, all they could do was exchange quick kisses in private. It didn’t bother her, though.

Astoria was determined to be patient. It was all going to be worth it. All she had to do was wait.

* * *

When Astoria arrived at Draco’s office one day, she was surprised to hear Potter’s voice through the closed door. Well, no, the simple fact that Potter was in Draco’s office wasn’t surprising – it was the fact that they were having what sounded like a heated conversation. And here Astoria was, thinking they were well past those.

She waited outside the door and listened to what was going on.

“ – were snogging! I saw it.”

“How many times must I say this, Potter?” Draco was saying impatiently. “It’s none of your business.”

“I just thought I’d do you a favor, since your _wife_ –”

“Thank Merlin for our glorious Savior, what _ever_ would we do without him?”

“Shut up, Malfoy,” snapped Potter. “This is the last time I do anything nice for you.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” drawled Draco.

Astoria heard loud footsteps and backed away just in time to see an irate Harry Potter storm out of Draco’s office. His eyes widened then narrowed when he caught sight of Astoria.

“I hope you’re happy,” he snarled, and Astoria was admittedly hurt – he’d never spoken to her in that tone of voice before.

“Wait – Potter,” Astoria said, grabbing hold of his arm before he could leave. He glared at her and took his arm back forcefully, but stayed where he stood. “I’m assuming you two were yelling about me? And Betty?”

Potter scowled; she took this as a yes.

“Draco and I are married out of obligation, not love,” Astoria said quietly. Potter just continued to glare at her. She pulled him aside towards the corner of the corridor, not wanting anyone to overhear them. “See, our families are horrors and we figured we could just marry each other instead of making some innocent fools miserable for the rest of their lives. I told Draco about Betty as soon as it happened. I swear.”

Potter blinked, but he still looked angry. “But you’re married.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Astoria sighed impatiently. “It’s literally a contract. We can do anything – we just have to keep up appearances so our families are satisfied.”

When Potter still seemed doubtful, she finally confessed, “Potter, we’re both gay. There’s literally no way we could love each other in that way. We just did it to shut everyone up. We’ll split amicably after the child is born and everyone will be happy – or, well, happy enough. Do you understand now?”

“Oh,” said Potter. He had an unreadable expression on his face. “Yeah.”

“Good.” She crossed her arms. “When did you see Betty and I anyway? We’re meant to be discreet.”

“Er,” Potter said, finally back to his old self. He shuffled uncomfortably. “In the break room.”

Astoria colored, remembering their (supposedly) private exchange just a few hours earlier. They’d have to remember to close the door next time.

“We’ll be more careful in the future,” Astoria promised, more to herself than Potter, though he nodded curtly anyway. She added, “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Sure,” he said gruffly.

“Wait,” she said, as he turned to leave. She had one more question. “Why do you care so much? That you’d go to Draco and tell him what you saw?”

Potter made a strange face and looked away. And then he said, unconvincingly, “It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?”

She let him go even if she didn’t believe him. There was real hurt in his face when he’d stalked out of Draco’s office, and Astoria wanted to know why.

**OCTOBER 2005**

“But what do _you_ think?”

Betty gave a little sigh and had another chip before replying.

“Astoria, don’t you think it’s time to let it go?” she asked kindly, if a bit tiredly.

“It just doesn’t make sense.”

They were having lunch at a quaint café during Betty’s break. Astoria had once again brought up the topic of why did Potter care if Astoria was snogging Betty, though it had started to become boring and irrelevant for Betty.

“Harry’s just a good person,” Betty repeated for the thousandth time.

“It looked like he _loathed_ me though,” Astoria also repeated for the thousandth time. “The way he glared at me…I’ve never seen him look at _anyone_ like that.”

Maybe that’s how he looked when he faced in enemies in the war. She could finally understand why people had been so scared of him – and so in awe.

“I dunno,” Betty said exasperatedly. “Maybe someone cheated on him in the past and it brought back bad memories.”

Astoria paused. Could that be why? Would anyone really dare cheat on the Great Harry Potter?

“Did he ever say anything that could have hinted that?”

Betty frowned. “He doesn’t really talk about his private life. I don’t even know if he’s dated anyone since I started work there.”

Astoria humphed. “Maybe he just hates me.”

“No one could hate you, love,” Betty said, rolling her eyes. She diverted her attention to her plate – she pushed around the few chips that remained. “Want any? I’m full.”

Astoria shook her head.

Betty caught the attention of their waitress and asked for the bill; Astoria kept contemplating the mystery. It had happened two weeks ago, but to be fair, she didn’t have much else to do. She was a relatively wealthy Pureblood housewife, and six months pregnant no less. And since Betty and Draco had nearly the same shifts (and she didn’t quite fancy talking to her family _that_ often) she hadn’t been the most social creature as of late.

Astoria snapped to it when Betty asked, “What does Healer Malfoy think?”

She took the bill from Betty and withdrew some Muggle money from her wallet, delicately placing it on top of it. She stood, and Betty followed her lead, gathering her things.

“He thinks I’m reading into it too much,” Astoria answered as they walked out of the café.

Betty gave an apologetic look. “To be fair, I do too.”

“I know,” she said, unbothered. “But at least trying to figure out this puzzle is a good waste of time.”

“You’ll miss having nothing to do when the child is born,” Betty smiled, her eyes lingering on Astoria’s growing stomach. “Are you certain you don’t want to know the sex of the little one?”

She frowned down at the bump. “Yes, I’m certain. It’s just more unnecessary pressure – if he’s a boy, will he be a suitable Malfoy heir? And if she’s a girl, will she find a nice Pureblood boy to marry? It’s just – ridiculous, and just very heteronormative.”

Betty laughed behind her hand. “All right.”

“What?” Astoria asked, her eyebrow cocked. A smile was on her face. “It’s true.”

“I know, love.”

They hooked their arms together, and that was the most they dared to do in the streets of London.

* * *

“Draco, what _is_ going to happen once the child is born?”

Draco nearly dropped the glass of wine he’d been holding. He quickly recovered, however, and gave her a strange look.

“We’ll separate.”

“I mean, obviously,” Astoria said, and swirled her glass of grape juice, wishing it were wine. “But that’s the big picture, isn’t it? What are we going to do exactly?”

Instead of answering immediately, he poured another healthy serving of wine into his glass and set the bottle down on the table. He studied it, a small frown on his face, though there was obviously nothing to study.

“Draco?”

“Well,” he began, and he finally sat down beside her. He took a swallow from his glass, looking into thin air instead of at her. “You’d have the child…and we’ll…care for it for some period of time…and then we’ll separate.”

“I’d figured that out myself, somehow.”

“I don’t know, Astoria,” Draco said, his grey eyes meeting her own. He seemed upset, though not at her. “I don’t know what amount of time would usually be considered reasonable before separating. I’ve never done this before, and my parents are bound to be upset no matter how long we wait.”

He was right, of course, and she knew it. This was why it was so difficult. There was no guidebook on how to navigate marrying someone you’re not attracted to and having a child with them just to appease your old-fashioned parents.

“Though I have,” Draco began, his forehead pinched, “Been thinking of names.”

“Really?” she asked, unable to hide her surprise.

He nodded. “Scorpius. If it’s a boy, which I think it will be. Don’t ask me why – I don’t know. I’ve just…got a feeling.”

“Merlin, are you serious?” Astoria gaped. “ _Scorpius_?”

Draco looked a bit hurt. “What’s wrong with it?”

“The poor thing is going to be bullied to no end.”

“I’ve got to keep on with the inane family tradition of using constellations as names, don’t I?” mumbled Draco, and Astoria felt affection for him bloom inside her chest.

She moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. She peered up at him through the corner of her eye.

“You really love them, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” he said quietly.

“You’re a good person, Draco.”

He scoffed and took a drink.

“You’ve grown. A lot. You deserve more credit than you’re given.”

“Sympathizing with a Death Eater?” he tutted. “That’ll earn you time in Azkaban, Astoria.”

She lifted her head to thwack him lightly on the arm. “You’re not a Death Eater, you prat.”

“Was, am, same difference.”

“It makes a whole world of difference and you know it,” Astoria retorted. She swallowed some juice. She then said, quietly, “Idiot.”

He sighed and dropped his head, his white blond hair falling in his face.

Astoria wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned against him once more, her heart heavy.

**NOVEMBER 2005**

“You’ve entered your third trimester, Mrs. Greengrass,” Potter was telling Astoria. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” she said primly.

It was tense. She and Potter both knew that. It was obvious: in their words, their eyes, in the air.

She lamented the fact that Draco couldn’t make it due to a staff meeting, leaving her to deal with Potter alone. This wouldn’t have been a matter earlier, but ever since he caught her snogging Betty, he’d been wary of her. Even though she’d explained the situation between herself and Draco, Potter was still reluctant to show her his past kindness.

Maybe he really did hate her, but whatever it was, she wanted to know.

“Could you tell me what you’ve been experiencing as of late? Whether you think it’s normal or not,” Potter said, his eyes fixed on his clipboard.

“My ankles are swollen, my back hurts, and I’ve been wondering you loathe me.”

He’d been nodding along until the last few words. Potter looked up, startled.

“Er, what?”

“You heard me, Potter. Why do you loathe me? Is it because of my apparent infidelity?”

“I don’t hate you,” he stammered. His face was still hard, his eyes unfriendly. “What you do with Betty doesn’t matter to me, and that um, ‘apparent infidelity’ is none of my business.”

“But it bothers you,” she said, posing it more as a statement than a question.

He shuffled in his seat, his gaze on the floor. Potter looked up tentatively, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his face.

“It just…seems strange. I dunno.”

“Yes you do. Tell me.”

“You and Malfoy are literally married to each other,” Potter finally said slowly, “You’re having a child together…just to make your parents happy?”

“You don’t have Pureblood parents, Potter. You couldn’t understand.”

“I don’t have any, actually,” Potter said roughly.

Astoria felt guilty but pushed on. “Of course, I apologize. I simply meant that you weren’t raised with the expectations to have an advantageous marriage so you can continue your familial bloodline and remain in the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It’s difficult enough to come to terms with that – that you can’t marry for love, but rather for reputation – but throwing in the fact that you’re not even attracted to whoever you’re meant to marry makes it all the more miserable.

“So once Draco and I realized that we both weren’t straight, we figured we’d just marry each other. Better to enter a bond with a like-minded friend than some strange creep you’d have to be stuck with for the rest of your life. And once we had an heir for the Malfoys, we’d separate.”

Potter was silent. When he spoke again, his voice didn’t have the hard edge it used to. “It’s a bit fucked, isn’t it?”

Astoria nearly laughed. “Yes, it is.”

“But Betty…?”

Astoria blushed but kept her gaze steady. “We’re dating. It’s meant to be a secret from the press and from our families, at the very least. But Draco knows, of course, and so do you. And I swear, Potter, that I’m not trying to hurt Draco by doing this…it just…happened. I love him, though not in the way our parents would have liked, and I don’t ever want to hurt him. He’s…wonderful, truly, and deserves better than me.”

She blushed further. Potter’s face was closed off and nearly expressionless. He opened his mouth, hesitated, and asked, “And…Malfoy isn’t…er, seeing anyone?”

Astoria blinked, surprised. And then suddenly, it all made sense. _Of course._ She felt like a fool for not realizing it sooner – it was so painfully obvious.

“Potter…” she began, trying to figure out which words to use, not wanting to scare him off. She was nearly bursting with excitement from her revelation. She bit down a smile. “Do you…fancy Draco?”

And while she was already sure of her prediction, Potter’s flustered face was all the confirmation she needed.

“I – what – _no_ ,” he sputtered, his eyes wide and panicked.

“It’s quite all right, Potter,” Astoria cut in, not bothering to hide her eager smile now. “I can see the appeal. He’s a handsome man, isn’t he, and so _clever_ , so _tall_?”

Potter looked like he was choking.

“Oh Merlin, what would Draco say if he found out?” she mused aloud, and that’s when Potter regained the ability to form a complete sentence.

“You can’t tell him!” he burst out desperately. “Please. Christ, don’t tell him.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Why not?”

“He’d have a field day,” Potter said weakly. “Jesus, please, Astoria, don’t tell him.”

She was warmed by his use of her given name.

“I won’t,” Astoria conceded. “I promise.”

He nodded and sulked in his seat.

“Were you ever going to do anything about it?”

“He’s married.”

“Not really,” Astoria pointed out. “If I can find myself a nice young woman, I’m certain he can find himself a nice young man.”

Potter became flustered again. “Why would he – I mean, _me_ , he hates me.”

“Have you been living under a rock, Potter?” Astoria asked, rolling her eyes. “Do you _really_ believe he hates you?”

“He’s not nice to me.”

“He’s nice to like, three people.”

“He was a complete git to me at Hogwarts.”

“He apologized for it.”

“He…he’s _Draco Malfoy_.”

“He’s also a person,” Astoria said softly. She tried smiling at Potter. “I know it’s hard to believe, but underneath all those scowls, he’s still a person.”

Potter sighed. “I know.”

“Just – talk to him. Or I will.”

Potter shot her a half-hearted glare, and nodded.

* * *

 A week later, Draco came home in a flurry, using the Floo when he usually came through the front door.

“Astoria?” he called loudly, and she could already picture him gritting his teeth.

“In here,” she yelled back from the sitting room.

It took all of three seconds for him to barge in, his hair flopping angrily and eyes glaring daggers at her. Astoria regarded him calmly from her cushy chair.

“What’s the matter, darling?”

“What’s the _matter_?” he repeated incredulously. He came closer and fumed down at her. “Can you tell me why Harry bloody Potter came into my office today and asked me on a _date_?”

Astoria stifled a giggle. Potter had actually done it! She’d underestimated him.

“No, how could I? And that sounds like lovely news. What did you tell him?”

“What did I – “ Draco sputtered. “I told him no, of course! I’m a married man –“

“Your wife’s got a girlfriend,” Astoria told him.

Draco continued, choosing not to hear her. “And he’s the bloody Chosen One, and –“

“Darling, calm down. You never say bloody this much – it’s unbecoming.”

“Astoria, I swear to Salazar, if you told Potter about my – my thing –“

She stood up (slowly, mind you, she was pregnant) to look him in the eye. “I didn’t. I promise. I just found out about _his_ ‘thing’ for you.”

Draco’s eyes took on a blank quality as his brain processed these words.

“So…he was really asking me for coffee? No…ulterior motives?”

“I don’t think he’s capable of that,” Astoria said as she lowered herself back into her armchair. “But yes, I think he actually did want to go on a date.”

“Merlin,” he said faintly. He sunk into a chair, his eyes wide as they stared into Astoria’s. “This is, quite. Well.”

“Shouldn’t you be happier? I thought this would be your childhood dream come true.”

“I’m not a child anymore, Astoria,” Draco retorted, slowly gaining composure. “Nor am I an adolescent with a sad crush on some speccy git.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t bag him earlier with all of those sweet words.”

Draco glared at her.

“So? Are you going to go get coffee with him?”

He flushed, pink high on his cheekbones, and pointedly looked away.

“Well?”

**DECEMBER 2005**

Astoria could be a right bitch, but the fact that both Draco and Betty dealt with her mood swings and tantrums with limited complaints just told her that they loved her.

She refused to look in the mirror nowadays – it just made her cry uncontrollably. Draco or Betty would remind her that it was for the baby, that she was growing life, and that it’d all be over soon. And then she’d sob that she’d stay like this forever and never lose the weight and always stay disgusting and _fat_ and everything else that she knew she was.

God, it was hard. It was hard having to eat like a normal person. It was hard remembering to eat when her hunger cues have been fucked up for years. It was hard to deal with feeling full and looking down at her gigantic stomach and a thousand other things.

She just wanted the kid out.

* * *

“You’ll never guess what I saw yesterday.”

“What?”

It was Betty’s day off, meaning she could spend the entire day with Astoria. These were, in fact, Astoria’s favorite days.

“Well,” Betty began eagerly, “I needed to talk urgently to Healer Malfoy about this certain patient – dreadful, really, what’s happened to her – and so I barged in after knocking once – which I shouldn’t have, I know, but I did, and he was snogging Harry!”

Astoria gasped, filled with genuine excitement and intrigue.

“No!”

Betty nodded gleefully.

“It was – intense, honestly,” Betty blushed. “Healer Malfoy had Harry sat up on his desk and they were just going at it without a care in the world. Until I walked in, of course.”

“Well, well,” Astoria smirked, “Looks like I have something new to tease Draco about. What happened next?”

“Once they realized I’d come in, they jumped apart and Harry nearly _fell_ _off_ Healer Malfoy’s desk. Healer Malfoy was blushing like mad and then started lecturing me on waiting to enter and Harry was just standing in the back looking like he wanted to disappear. I apologized of course, and quickly told him that a patient needed help desperately.”

“Wonderful,” Astoria said. She then added, “And I’m assuming the patient is fine?”

“Of course.”

* * *

Later that day, Astoria was resting her feet (her entire body, really) and waiting for Betty to return with dinner when she heard the front door open. She almost called out – _why are you home so early, Draco?_ – but bit her tongue when she heard another voice among Draco’s own. Straining her ears, she listened in as her husband had an impassioned conversation with whoever it was.

“I don’t even know why I brought you here –”

“I think we _both_ know why…”

“Merlin, could you be any more –” he said sternly, his voice dropping in volume as he went on.

Astoria struggled to her feet and padded into the living room, her robes flowing behind her gigantic body. She couldn’t possibly pass this opportunity up.

Draco looked in her direction as she appeared in the doorway and smiled benevolently at the two men.

“Astoria,” he said, and straightened his back. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought Potter here.”

“Of course not, darling. Hello, Harry.”

“Astoria,” said Harry uncomfortably. He seemed to shrink a bit in her presence, like he knew he was doing something wrong. Which technically, he was, what with snogging her husband and all. “I hope you’re well?”

“Yes, thank you. And yourself?”

“Great, thanks.”

“I thought Betty was going to be over tonight?” asked Draco, interrupting their stilted conversation.

“She’s just getting dinner. I’m sure she’ll be back shortly.”

“Ah. We’ll just go, then,” Draco said, and turned to Harry. “Is your house available?”

Before he could answer, Astoria cut in.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Draco. Why don’t you two join us? Betty always brings too much, as I’m eating for two now,” Astoria said matter-of-factly. “It’d be like a double-date.”

Draco colored and looked very much like he wanted to pull Astoria aside and have a stern talk with her.

“Oh no, we couldn’t…” Harry said.

“Please, I insist,” Astoria insisted.

He glanced helplessly at Draco, who glared at Astoria. And then Betty walked in through the open door. She stopped short at the sight of the two men but resumed a moment later, making her way into the kitchen and putting her bags of takeout down.

“Hello, Harry, Healer Malfoy!” she said brightly.

“Hi Betty.”

“Draco, please, Betty.”

“Hello, Draco,” Betty amended, and made a face. “I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.”

“We’re not even at work.”

“I’m a guest in your home,” she replied, and went to stand next to Astoria to observe the two men. “Are we all eating together, then?”

“Yes,” Astoria smiled.

**JANUARY 2006**

Finally.

It was done.

After nine months of torture, Astoria had created life. Despite her reservations, her fears, and her health – she’d done it.

Of course, it wasn’t just her. There was obviously Draco, who’d provided the other piece of the puzzle. But more than that, he’d supported her through the breakdowns. He’d always been there to speak calm words and stroke her hair. He’d reassured her countless times and had been so, so patient throughout everything.

And there was Betty, who’d been so loving, so caring, so sweet. She was more than Astoria could have ever hoped for, and was honestly too good to be true. She’d been the sunshine in Astoria’s life – a hint of how happy Astoria could truly be. A glimpse of what her life could be like.

But Astoria allowed herself to be selfish. She allowed herself to be proud. She’d carried life within her, nurtured it, protected it. And now he was here, proof that she’d done it, and he was small and wriggling and pink, screaming with life.

Scorpius.

He was beautiful.

 _It was all going to be worth it_ , she had thought.

And it was.


End file.
